Tuesday, 21 February 2023

I Hate It Here

 It's been almost a decade since I last posted on this blog.

I set this up back when I was in high school attempting to get my Duke of Edinburgh award, I thought I could use my talents at drawing to fulfil the obligations on the "Skills" section of the award. I'd upload my silly little drawings, my teacher would observe and note my skills, and eventually I did win that DofE award at Bronze level.

I went to college, did well and eventually went to University studying Animation. I graduated with a BA and kept going to earn a Masters Degree in Media Production: Animation. It's both my proudest achievement in my life and also my biggest regret and disappointment. 

Every single attempt I have made at trying to earn a living with my talents has failed and I'm getting to a point where I think I'm getting the hint now. I will never make it.

In the near 10 years since last posting, I've never worked professionally for any kind of studio or gained any experience whatsoever. I've wasted my time working in hospitality and retail trying to earn any kind of money to live, all the while getting rejection after rejection for jobs relating to my talents. I've tried freelancing but every client I've worked with has messed me about or not paid me.

I have saved no money, I have no career to speak of and I'm nearly 30. 

Maybe I'll update this in another decade, maybe I will have killed myself before I turn 40.

Monday, 10 February 2014

Olhos D'Agua - Portugal 2013

2013 must have been one of my most eventful years. Granted it kicked off on a bit of a low point but looking back, I'm pretty happy with my year. I left Loreto College with my 4 A-levels which, even I'm impressed I walked out of alive. Many of my friends were adamant I'd have a mental breakdown but I think I hung in there...mostly at least. I had my 18th birthday, which was undoubtedly one of the greatest weekends of my entire life, I'll never forget spending it with such amazing people. I even got my first proper job working at my friends dad's bar. But in this little entry I'm gunna talk about my holiday to Portugal with my family.

So a bit of back story before I get into it, I'd just recently finished watching a playthrough of the videogame Bioshck Infinite by YouTuber Cryoatic, I'd been staying up most nights just addicted to the story and how Cry played through it. I'll admit I do sound nerdy talking about a freaking videogame but I thought it was absolutely incredible, the storytelling mixed beautifully with the graphics and gameplay to produce, what I feel, one of the greatest games ever made, I cannot wait to play through it myself. The ending was particularly confusing and at the same time mesmerising (I shan't spoil it for those who haven't had the pleasure) and I became addicted to the music used in the game. I even changed my ringtone to the Songbird's tune (nerdgasm). The song that stuck with me was "Will The Circle Be Unbroken?" sung by the beautiful Courtnee Draper who voiced Elizabeth in the game. I listened to it religiously on the flight and even tried to part my freshly cut hair like Booker DeWitt (the protagonist).

The first thing that hit me when we landed was the heat, oh lawdy was that place hot. Not that I didn't enjoy it, although saying that I did have an amazing summer so it would have been nice to stick around for a bit longer and just soak up my youth with those beautiful things I call chums.  Nevertheless I was set for a wonderful week catching some Portuguese rays and reading my Game of Thrones book, and of course getting a good look at Portugal. We had a lovely apartment, sadly though there was only one double bed which my mother quickly called dibs on and a pull out sofa bed. Meaning my brother, my father and I would alternate between staying on that ridiculously uncomfortable sofa thing and the divine softness of the bed. Then we discovered a very handy supermarket not a stone's throw away from where we were staying, which was very convenient in times of desperation.

So it already seemed like I was set for a very enjoyable holiday, I had pretty much everything I needed to enjoy myself except my second family which were over in sunny England waiting for me. I can't remember in detail what we did everyday in Portugal, but we made sure we actually did something, whether it be the beach just a short walk from the apartment, or go sightseeing a the local towns and villages. We certainly didn't want to end up like a bunch of slobbish Brits just going abroad and staying as British as possible.
On the second night I think it was, we went out for our evening meal. The restaurant of choice was a lovely sea food joint with the outside shaped like a boat. I decided to go straight in and try something I'd never had, so I had a delicious octopus stew. It didn't disappoint, the octopus itself was very tender and delicate, but very tasty when accompanied with some rice and whatever the fuck sauce was in there. We retired back to the apartment and father person and I stayed up to watch a few episodes of Breaking Bad, something we'd become furiously addicted to back home. Dad and I got into this habit every night, a few beers and a handful of Breaking Bad episodes. Again I'll avoid spoilers as they're disgusting things but we were on season 4 at the time so you can imagine how tense our nights got.

One day my father and I went on a walk around Albefiera, a small village about a 5 minute cab drive from our apartment. It wasn't exactly amazing but it was nice for a walk and a beer and a bond. Not as in that smooth bastard James but as in a proper chat with my Dad. We've always been close but I felt things like watching Breaking Bad and that walk in Albefiera were some of the best memories I'll have with him, I fucking love my Dad. We talked about everything there is to talk about really, money, University (which was slowly approaching), movies, games, music, love, the past. Yeah, we covered a lot walking through that sun soaked town, one topic we fell on was my Grandfather Graham. I'd learned a lot about him and to hear my Dad talk about him was something of a treat, granted some of the stories were of my Grandfather being a bit of a tit, it made me think differently about him. We stopped at a little restaurant and had a burger and a beer, talked a little more then headed home as the day was coming to an end. It was a perfect day spent with a truly awesome man and I'll never forget it.

In the mornings I'd tumble out of bed/sofa and grab a coffee. I'd then take myself outside in the pouring sun and read a few chapters of Game of Thrones. I'd already seen series 1-3 so I knew what was coming but I was still hooked. I'd dream of being a Dothraki or a King, whoa man what a wonderful series of books. My other family members would slowly get themselves out of bed and join me in the day, then we'd discuss what we'd do over breakfast. I'd play Mario Kart against my little brother on one of his Nintendo DS', or I'd try and sneak in another cheeky nap just to return to my wonderful dreams. I think the sunshine did wonders for my dreams because I had some corkers that I wrote down in my diary.

One night whilst sitting on the balcony with my folks as they shared an evening smoke, we noticed two guard dogs outside this compound parallel to our apartment. One of them was a big, old, slow grey dog, the other was a spritely young white dog with the number "11" spray painted on his forehead.  Dad and I would later joke and say the grey dog was nicknamed "Mr White" and the white dog was "Number 11", homage to Breaking Bad and the relationship between Walter and his own number 11 in Jesse.
Buried amongst the many bars in Olhos D'Agua was a wonderful place called The Black Cat, run by a very interesting man named Roy. He was black, aging but aging well, and a voice that sounded as if it had been ran over, dragged through a mile of glass, soaked in whiskey and smoked out of a long pipe. The Black Cat was a jazz themed bar, it's special night was a Thursday where they'd get a Sinatra impersonator in, sadly we never went on a Thursday night but I'd love to see what it was like. We spent our final night in The Black Cat with Roy, my brother and I even drew him a picture each to accompany another drawing by an artist many a year ago. Roy loved it, and I'm happy to have met such a pleasant man. If you're ever in Olhos D'Agua, give Roy a visit and stay for a while, you won't regret it. I'd love to have taken Ben and SamSamto it, it seemed like a perfect place for the two of them. It's wonderful having amazing friends like those to come home to, like I said before, they're more like a second family to me.

Another wonderful part of having such a wide group of friends was bringing gifts back from abroad. I was pretty lazy with this holiday however and just got everyone a necklace, but not without having a good luck around to what each one would really like. For SamSam, I bought her a Rolling Stones one with the lips and tongue logo. For Kyle I bought a biohazard logo, which he still wears and makes me smile. For Ben I bought him a replacement for his St Michael pendant which got broken, I found a pretty sweet Gemini necklace which he wears every day. For Little Jack I bought him an anarchy logo, because if I were to describe him I'd say he's a "diluted punk". For Josh I bought a similar pendant as Bens but with a funky lizard on. Finally for Adam I bought him a tiki mask pendant which wet well with his other present for his birthday. Then after sorting everybody else out, I splashed out on myself and bought a cool leather strap and a skull necklace. I'd had my eye on it for a while and I took the fact that it was the last one in the store as I sign to grab it and make it mine. It really stood out to me, it's little smiley face really ticked me and I've worn it every day since buying it. It even ended up being a coincidental, wonderful yet sadly very brief relationship with Oli. But that's a story best left for another time ey?


I was excited when the time come for going home. Not because I wanted to leave in a hurry, I could've stayed for longer but I think two weeks was just the right amount of time for a perfect holiday. I'll always remember Portugal for being a very pleasant and delightful period of my year. Here's to many more.

Tuesday, 14 January 2014

Tuesday, 14 May 2013


I'M DOING STUFF LORI....THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGSSS

Sunday, 17 July 2011

Joker & Harley 2011

Saturday, 30 April 2011

This is my friend Tobiash who looks like John Cena. Okay, okay the both aren't the same size, but they have the same face right?
This is my friend Ste who looks like "The Viper" Randy Orton. Not when he gurns though, this was the best picture of his handsome face I could find.